I arrived in Phoenix, had gall bladder surgery and for the next two weeks I ate Percocets and slept all day on our couch. Then I got the contract in Seattle. I wasn’t sure I had the stamina to reach Seattle after the attack, cross-country drive from Charlotte and the surgery but I did it.
I arrived just before Halloween. I’d visited Seattle before but only for a few days. I stayed at my brother’s house and then rented an apartment at the new Lincoln Square in Bellevue, next to the bus station.
Seattle changed my life. I was reading Dominique’s journal (and occasionally the other Wiccans,usually Lena’s). I started at the Phoenix Underground in Pioneer Square. I met Jody, a 25-y-o with good dance steps. Then I met her husband and she wanted to sleep with me, it was my first experience with an open relationship. But I was still married.
Then I visited the Vogue on advice of a long-time Internet adversary/acquaintance. In my naivety, I wasn’t expecting Lena there but in retrospect it was inevitable. She was shocked when she saw me, and I was, too. We recognized each other from Internet photos. She ran quickly to the rear bar, hid around a corner, peeping out at me and I had to chuckle, which probably seemed even more ominous.
The Vogue had live BDSM sex shows on Fridays which stunned me. I’d found a group of people like myself – sexually kinked but unlike me, they lived it and were comfortable and here I was at 48 and still in the closet.
The Vogue. Phoenix Underground. Other clubs in Pioneer Square. I rode the ferries, hiked around Vashon Island, the San Marcos. I visited gay clubs in Capitol Hill which had wedding parties of straight, single women; I didn’t care about gay men and they rarely cared about me. I went to SEAF – Seattle Erotic Art Festival. I rode the drunk bus every weekend at 2:30am.
I toured the underground city, I did the Ghost tour. I ate lunch in the Space Needle.
I decided to divorce in Dec, 2005. My ex-wife discovered my gifts to Dominique from my credit card bills, I started sending them after her cancer diagnosis in 2004. I was torn. I couldn’t cheat on her but I’ve been sexually kinked since the age of eleven.
It was six months before I felt like dating and then my first three dates were a shock. Sex each time, initiated by each woman and I wondered what world I was in. But then they expected a relationships afterwards and that soured it. The third woman was probably married and was my last one-night stand.
I decided to fix my relationship problems. I read articles, books, I put together a business plan that measured my time, efforts, results across several venues and I met several hundred women from 2006 to 2008. Eventually I figured out why I’d failed so badly but it didn’t matter because it was about who I am versus who women are. I bought new clothes, tried the PUA tricks, pick-up lines, the psychology and they often worked but it was too false for me.
Seattle 2006 was about my divorce, The Vogue, Dominique and the Wiccans. I loved The Vogue but wasn’t surprised when Lena had me banned. Her paranoia was driven by her and Dominique’s guilt and they projected their fears onto me. It’s happened so often that I’m not surprised by the guilt and paranoia of women anymore.
But this was one of my best times. I was free of my eternal sexual fears, the divorce was in process, I was making peak earnings and I loved Seattle. But the contract ended and The Path took me to Miami.